It feels like FOREVER-AGO that I resigned as manager at the store. Sept 19 was my official last day as manager and I returned Oct. 2 on a temporary part time basis to work on orders, meet with vendors, train a new manager, and continue supporting/training the son of my boss. We thought this would go through the end of December and that we would re-evaluate at that time. There were moments where I thought I was crazy for still being there and then there were moments where I enjoyed this new capacity. The good moments were outweighing the bad and I even offered that I would be available 2 days a week in January if I was still needed. Then next thing you know, I walk into the office and declare that December 5 will be my last day. I do not do well with micromanagement. As a manager I do not micromanage my people and I especially do not tolerate being on the receiving end of this management style. Then there is the people aspect of what I am seeing at the store. Not so fabulous. As my husband predicted I am witnessing the erosion of what I worked so hard to build. That is the small picture. The big picture is that I am keeping one foot in old energy. I also see now that I over committed. Between 15 hours a week in school, 5ish hours for homework and massage practice, and roughly 18 hours a week at the store, I am still putting in the equivelent of full time hours. Could this be the reason why I am still behind in catching up with everyone? Could this be the reason why new friendships formed in Aug/Sept are still in the embryonic stage in mid November? Could this be the reason why little to no progress has been made on my bath products? And could this be the reason why it is still near 90 degrees in mid November...the weather goddess is waiting for me to catch up and get with the season.

Now that I have finalized my exact date of departure from the store I feel lighter. I feel like time has opened up and I can actually live in one world. The time spent in school and practicing massage is so uplifting. The time spent driving to work is a bit of a drag. I feel myself become heavier as I travel south on the 2 freeway. That weight would be the energetic armour that automatically appears as it feels the presence of the store looming in the not so far off distance.

School is beyond good. Mid terms went exactly as expected. Ninety nine percent on the written and 85% on the practical. My "client" was my energy teacher and her feedback was great. She said that as far as a regular 55 minute spa massage goes, I am THERE! Since I am taking her energy medicine course she KNOWS I am not interested in doing just a regular spa massage and she gave me feedback to help me accomplish that. Basically I need to stop focussing on the routine (I have that down WELL she said) and I need to now start working on maintaining the connection with the client and really reading the body and allowing it to talk to me. Now the feedback from my instructors was a bit more technical. My body mechanics need work. Apparently it should look like a dance. I should be dancing more with the strokes and allowing them to come from my core. Well, I do this when I am doing massage at home and the nervousness of mid terms made me tense up a bit. Intellectually I was prepared for the 85% on the practical but emotionally it was a little hard. I used to be the straight A student. An A on every test! How else was I going to get into a good college and make something of myself? Then I fell in love with fashion, stumbled into beauty and here I am learning how to rub people. But I digress.

We had the introduction to fascia and trigger point class yesterday. I am in L-O-V-E! Rather than delving straight into deep tissue I will be delving into MyoFascial Release. And trigger point. MFR is more directly in line with the kind of work I want to do. I graduate from CMT on Dec 7. On Dec 8 I start the Deep Swedish course. I am also taking Aromatherapy 1 and possibly 2 in December. The Introduction to Fascia Work class is in December too. January brings the Advanced Skills Program nd Anatomy and Kinesiology. I have quite a few classes ahead of me and I cannot wait. This doesn't even include the 30 hour Energy 4 class that will be sometime in spring.

Last Sunday Brian and I met up with April at a bar to support a fundraiser. One of the bartenders is a talented singer and she is drumming up money to record a professional CD. The bar was in North Hollywood. Brian ran into a former coworker and mused that it was interesting to find him at a gay bar. April quickly snapped that Moonshadows is NOT a gay bar. It is a LESBIAN bar. Of course my logical mind came into play, put two and two together and I now know that lesbians are not gay. Thought you should know too!

It is coming up on 5:00 and it is already quite dark. The rain is plentiful, showering down upon us in full force.  Today in class I did a full 90 minute massage and I have to say I did damn good!  Gingerbread is in the oven and I have a 6:30 appointment for bodywork.  No class and no work for the next four days. Simply Divine.