What's In A Name?

When I was born my mother did not put my father on my birth certificate and she gave me her maiden name as my last name which is White (name #1).

She then married my stepfather and enrolled me in school with his last name which was Sanchez (name #2).

When I was 25 I met my biological father. Two years later I took his last name which is Mettayanuvat (name #3).

There is so much truth when it is said that our names carry different energetic vibrations.  I have done the numerology for all three names and it clearly shows the path my life has taken and the different turns with every change of name. Since I never actually used the last name of White, I feel no connection to it. It is simply on paper and only ONE piece of paper as it is.  The whole time I went by the last name of Sanchez, ages 5-27, the name fit me like a piece of ill-fitting clothing.  It never felt right. When I took the name Mettayanuvat it fit perfectly and I finally felt like "me." Of course there is another part of the story regarding ethnicity. When I was Sanchez I was under the belief I was half Mexican. When I was told the truth about my conception I found out I was really half Thai. And that is a whole other conversation altogether!  But back to the topic of names...

Mettayanuvat fit me very comfortably. As I started to explore Buddhism I came upon the Metta meditation.  I thought it was a nice coincidence that Metta is also the first 5 letters of my name.  I did some research and found that the word is rooted in the ancient Pali language. I was so proud of my discovery that I emailed my dad in Thailand.  He then informed me that Mettayanuvat roughly translated into "a little loving kindness will last forever."  I was amused and pleased to have such a pretty last name.  Then I felt the weight of responsibility.  The responsibility to LIVE up to the name.  I eventually grew comfortable with the meaning and now rather than feel the weight of responsibility, I feel honored and blessed. Mettayanuvat is my name, it is my affirmation, it is my goal, it is who I AM.